After a long break, and privatizing a few posts, I want to get this “blog” (or whatever you call two public posts) up and running again. I have ideas running through my head at all hours, especially at 2AM, and I wan to put them somewhere. I guess the only logical thing to do with one’s innermost thoughts is put them up on the internet! Well, here we go. Welcome to the late night, early morning, mid-walk, and in-between classes thoughts.
If you know anything about my academics this semester, you know about the sociology class I’m taking. It’s my favorite this semester. Now, bear with me. Believe it or not, sociology is in fact connected to sitcoms… It’s a lot less of a stretch than you think. In this class, we’ve studied three major sociologists, one of which being Emile Durkheim. Given the title “Father of Sociology”, Durkheim is actually really interesting. I won’t be doing an in-depth analysis of his research, frankly because I’ve only just barely scratched the surface. However, I will highlight one of his most fascinating arguments. Simply put: Durkheim teaches that society is more than a physical world. It is also a force that can act upon or influence us. Here’s a quote from the Father of Sociology himself regarding this idea:
“Man’s characteristic privilege is that the bond he accepts is not physical but moral; that is, social. He is governed not by a material environment brutally imposed on him, but by a conscience superior to his own, the superiority of which he feels. Because the greater; better part of his existence transcends the body, he escapes the body’s yoke, but is subject to that of society. “
From Durkheim’s “Anomy and Modern Life”
[Insert “mind blown” emoji here]
Is this not entirely fascinating? Society is more than shopping malls and supermarkets. This isn’t completely surprising considering the world of social media we live in, but Durkheim takes this a step deeper. He argues that even when we escape the confines of the physical world, including our own bodies, we are still subject to the force of society. Even when we are only in our minds, we are still at the hands of society. Durkheim, being the functionalist that he is, uses this to explain how we find our roles in society, which kind of makes it work alright. For the sake of my point, I’m going to flip this on its head. While Durkheim may be able to make a (rather strong) argument for the importance of this in the grand scheme of society, I want to explore how problematic this is on an individual level. Let’s dig in.
My professor asked our class if there was ever a time we felt as though we were free from societal influences, pressures, or expectations. Now, this wasn’t the first time we’d been challenged with a loaded question like this. However, it was still daunting to answer. Students that answered yes were subsequently asked to provide examples of when and where they feel completely free from social influence. Many said in their rooms, when they’re working out, with religious leaders, and one even said when he’s asleep. Now, I think my professor is a genius, and I mean that very sincerely. This woman stood in front of a classroom full of students and deconstructed every example she was handed. Even the one about sleeping. She did this not in a malicious way, but in Durkheim’s way. This really is the crux of his work. He takes the most personal points in an individual’s life and shockingly connects it to the force that is society. For the sake of excluding “trigger words” I won’t go further, but I urge you to look it up.
The more I thought about this idea, the stronger my conviction of my answer became. No, I don’t believe we are ever truly free from the societal force. Speaking for myself, even my thoughts are plagued with what society feeds me. I think about how I can fit in, where I should belong, the restrictions of what I can and cannot do, so on and so forth. Want a side of fries? Well, how many have you had recently? Will the cafeteria workers judge you? Always walk on the right side of the path, it’s the respectable thing to do. Don’t disagree with the student next to you, even if you know you’re right. He’s a year above you, he has seniority. These are some of the smaller ways in which society influences us. Let’s not forget the major roles of consumer, employee, student, congregant/parishioner, etc. These roles are tied to the “macro” functions or elements of society. As much as I would like to think I disregard the unnecessary social constructs surrounding me, I simply cannot deny the presence of countless more throughout each day. This can be seen in areas like the examples I just listed, or in other ways, like the work ethic instilled in us. Max Weber is the sociologist that talks about the birth of the American work ethic, but I’ll digress and jump into Weber another day. Essentially, we work a lot. I personally work way too much. I’m a full-time student, I work two jobs, I’m on a university coalition board, and I genuinely don’t know where the “off button” is. I check my email first thing in the morning, I’m doing homework into the latest hours, and I’m constantly taking on more professional tasks. It’s a problem. When I’m not working, I’m listening to others, providing support, or using my empath identity to be of assistance to someone, somehow.
To put a lot of words into a few: I’m constantly filling a social role. Employee, student, “therapist”. It was scary to be sitting in Warner Hall realizing that not only am I never truly free from society’s force, I’m actually constantly buried in it. I wanted to look at my professor and say, “Thanks, Doc. So how do I fix this?” In all honesty, it sparked a massive train of inner reflection. I wouldn’t call it an identity crisis, but I did start thinking a lot more about who I am outside of these major roles I have. Naturally, this came up in one of my weekly therapy sessions (ain’t no shame in therapy, I’m a big advocate for it!). My therapist just nodded and smiled as I revealed this huge realization that an introductory sociology course had created. I realized that I’m my professors’ student, my boss’s employee, and my peers’ emotional support. So what am I to myself? Great question… My most recent endeavor has been answering that.
This is where sitcoms come into play. We took the scenic route to reach this point, sorry.
Several weeks ago, in the same sociology class, we watched an episode of Will & Grace. It looked familiar, and I remembered seeing a few clips a long while back. I sat in class and kept a straight face as “tasteless” jokes about aging and eyesight sounded from the speakers. I saw the point in my professor selecting the episode in relation to class content, but I was unimpressed otherwise. I don’t know if I woke up on the wrong side of the bed or was too busy finding something to be offended about, but I just didn’t find the show funny. Well, as I pondered this idea of constant pressure from society, I made a bold declaration to my therapist. “I don’t believe we’re ever truly or completely free from society’s grip, but I want to get freer.” What did I do to try and gain more of this freedom? “Tasteless TV”. If it’s tasteless, I’ll get bored. I’ll spend time not being an employee, student, or support. What social role could I possibly fill watching a show? (spoiler alert: you actually fulfill a social role while watching TV, but again I digress…) I’ve seen F.R.I.E.N.D.S, and I wanted something new. What about that show from sociology? Bingo. So I logged into Hulu and queued it up. With the holiday weekend, I had plenty of time to kill, especially with allergies that I’m pretty sure were trying to kill me. I was going to be in bed all weekend, and tasteless TV was going to be my “stick it” to Durkheim.
Originally airing from 1998 to 2006, the sitcom centers on the lives of four central characters. Will is a lawyer, and an openly gay man. His roommate is Grace, an interior designer, and straight woman. The namesakes of the show, they’re best friends. There’s also Karen, Grace’s slacker assistant, and Jack, the trio’s eccentric (and also gay) friend. The show runs through Will & Grace’s friendship, their respective messy relationships, Jack’s endless acting endeavors, Karen’s money-based marriage, and more. At first, I found it just as tasteless as the first episode I watched in class. I found the jokes about being gay to be rude, much like the quasi-political remarks. I wouldn’t let myself laugh. Why? Because I’ve been taught to keep my mouth shut about the topics they were turning into comedic content, and because I was still focusing on my Outlook inbox. I was thinking about who needed what from me, even as my allergies turned into me being downright sick. In between tissues and commercial breaks, I was still thinking about work, school, and other people. I was really failing at this whole “free from society” thing. Well, at least until I got too tired. Maybe it was being sick, maybe it was the lack of sleep. Regardless, I let out my first chuckle. Season 1, Episode 3. Once that happened all bets were off.
I spent two days laughing at the stupidest, simplest, and sometimes most offensive jokes. It wasn’t a matter of political correctness or reverent seriousness. Eventually, I didn’t even care if people could hear me laughing. Living in a shared space like a residence hall, I try to be conscientious of my volume, though oftentimes others don’t. That didn’t matter. My initial giggles turned into belly laughs. I wasn’t being a worker, learner, student leader, or supporter. While I was still fulfilling social roles in other ways, I wasn’t actively filling the ones I usually bury myself in, and it felt good. I felt relaxed. Dare I say I felt like me? The whole point of starting the show was to begin that journey of finding the “me” outside of society’s roles. I didn’t exactly prove Durkheim wrong, and I still believe we are constantly tied to society’s force in some way, but for a few hours, I felt more free than I have in a long, long time. So what is the moral of this story? Grab some snacks (or Zyrtec and drowsy Tylenol in my case) and watch a sitcom. Maybe I’m late to the party, but I know I’m not the only one. They say that laughter is the best medicine, and while I agree it’s pretty great, I think the ability to laugh freely is even better.
I typically end each sociology class by handing in the day’s work and saying to my professor that she’s “got me thinking”. Well, these are some of those thoughts. I suppose I should now try that thing called sleep before Monday truly wakes up to kick my rear. It’s now 2:43 AM… I told you these are the odd-hour thoughts. I guess we’ll just have to wait and see what my brain decides to ponder on next!
Humble Chutzpah 